Pilot Error
by skyline333
Summary: Kirby and Meta Knight get a job transporting goods to and from Popstar, using the Halberd, however when Meta Knight is away on vacation, Kirby has a bit of a problem. Chapter 2 now up, but I rushed the last paragraph. Rated T for swearing
1. Contact

The rear of the Halberd was being consumed by a raging inferno, and bits of burning debris broke away and slowly floated away into the void of space. Kirby was piloting whilst Meta Knight was on vacation but something had gone horribly wrong and now he was lost. He opened a small drawer to his left and pulled out an orange, metal box with a dial and a microphone attached by a cable on the side. The words "Emergency Radio" were crudely painted on top in black paint, which had run slightly. Kirby twisted the dial slightly. He lifted the microphone up to his mouth. "This is Kirby, captain of the Halberd starship. I am transmitting on all emergency frequencies. The ship has lost all power and the rear end has caught fire. I am the only member of the crew on board and I request immediate assistance." Kirby sent the S.O.S to the nearest planet. Earth. And the first place the message reached? N.A.S.A's headquarters. A man working on a computer in a large room suddenly jumped up, "Contact!" he shouted and then he played the message over the loud speakers so everyone in the room could hear. They sat and listened in awe at Kirby asking for help. "We should trace the message." said another man, "To make sure it's not a hoax." The large screen was turned on and one man at the front logged into to the Hubble Telescope and pinpointed the exact location the message was sent from. The room went silent. There on the big screen was the Halberd, still on fire and heading for the Earth. Then someone spoke out. "Maybe we should get the president."

Eventually the president arrived followed by hoards of paparazzi all wanting to know why he was in such a hurry. As they came through the door there was another episode of silence. The silence was broken again, but this time by alarms. Lights flashed in red and orange as scientists started to hit all sorts of keys to work out what was causing it. Then one of them turned around to face the president. "Mr. President, sir, we may be about to make closer contact than we thought."

"What do you mean?"

"The ship has just entered the atmosphere and it's traveling at 3000 km/h, there is only six minutes to impact!"

"Can you calculate where it will crash?"

"Uhhm... hang on... if its rate of trajectory is this and that is the square root of this and its speed is this then... My God!"

"What? Where is it?"

"Sir, It's going to crash into the center of London."

"Have we got time to warn them?"

"The ship should be in their visual range soon. There is nothing we can do but watch."

The Halberd was now a minute away from impact and the city below was panic stricken. People were all running away from the center as the giant starship got closer and closer as much larger chunks of debris sheered away from it. One piece crushed a Vauxhall Zafira whilst another went through the window of Starbucks. "Bollocks!" said a man, just as the debris crushed him against the floor. The Halberd collided with the London Eye, obliterating it and sending the pods in many different directions. Then came the final impact with the Halberd stopping instantly as it hit Charing Cross train station. Kirby went flying out of the front window and landed on the platform, next to a train. There was glass and debris littered about the place. Kirby got up. He was a bit bruised and he had a small cut on his forehead, but nothing too serious.


	2. KFC to go!

Kirby wiped the blood from his face with his stub of a hand. He stood still looking quite dazed, and then he looked around, surveying the damage. Then there was a crash. Kirby turned around. Afire door had been knocked down. Men in black suits and gas masks stormed in. They were armed with machine guns and rifles and began to survey the scene themselves. Another door was broken down, and more men poured through. One caught sight of Kirby. "Over there! Whats that?" The rest of the men looked over, but Kirby was gone, he'd jumped down the platform. "Safe!" He thought, leaning against the train. The he heard a rifle fire and the glass in the train window shattered, glass fragments landing on his head. He ran down the gap between the train and platform. The windows on his side of the train shattered under more fire, this time from machine guns. "Crap!" Kirby thought, and he crawled under the train. "AHH!" he then yelled, as 750 volts passed through his body, he'd lent on the 3rd rail. He jumped up in pain and smacked his head on the underside of the train. "Ahh! Fuck! Ahh! Fucking..." He stopped. He could hear the men surrounding the train and loading their weapons. "Wonderful!" He thought sarcastically. "Now what do I do?" Then he had an idea, he crawled all the way along the track until he was out in front of the train. He wandered out of the front of the train station, where he was on a bridge.

Conveniently, a skip with a mattress in it was just under the bridge. Kirby jumped, hoping to land on it, but he landed on a broken chair instead. "I hate this planet" he muttered as he clambered out and into the street. There was no one around and on the other side of the road was conveniently positioned a yellow Lotus Elise. Kirby walked over to it and noticed the keys were still in the ignition. He tried the door, and it opened. Because the Lotus was a small car, Kirby could just reach the pedals and so he set off down the road. Kirby had driven King Dedede's car before, but that was nothing compared to this. At the end of the road was a policeman by a barrier. This didn't stop Kirby, who drove up the sidewalk and around it. He accelerated away as the policeman ran after him. He escaped, but now he was caught in London's traffic. He had no intention of waiting and began weaving around other cars and driving along the sidewalk some more.

He reached the M25 motorway, then the M40 and by now he'd gotten pretty good at driving. He'd worked out most of the rules of the road, although he still didn't get what the signs with bold numbers on were for. He saw a sign with a knife and fork drawn on it and an arrow pointing left, and at the next left turn he turned off. He ended up by a building with pictures of chicken all around it and a big red sign with the letters K, F and C on it. He then saw a sign saying Drive Thru, which he assumed was the exit. There was a menu at the start of the Drive Thru, which grabbed Kirby's attention. He rolled his window down and studied it for almost fifteen minutes, causing a large queue to form behind him. He then drove further round the drive thru to a stop sign, where he stopped and there was the same menu. "May I take your order?" A voice said, coming from nowhere and startling Kirby.

"W... w... Where are you?" Kirby asked back, confused.

"I'm inside, this is a speaker, may I take your order?"

"Uhh..." Kirby gave the usual pause that everyone gives before ordering at a drive thru. "Can I get a fifteen piece bargain bucket, a large popcorn chicken meal and a diet cola please."

"Anything else?"

"Uhhm... No. Thanks."

"Okay, move to the first window please."

Kirby drove the car up to the first window, where a woman was standing and began passing the food from the window to the car. She wasn't at all surprised to see Kirby because she never saw Kirby at all, she was facing the other way talking to a colleague about the spaceship on the news and just passing the food backwards. Kirby then rolled his window up and drove off. "That'll be £27.97" The woman in the window said turning around. There was nothing there. "Shit. The boss ain't gonna be too happy about this."

Kirby drove past a petrol station, past premier in and onto the motorway again. Well, I say onto the motorway, but actually he was driving along the hard shoulder. The hard shoulder ended, which was a problem for Kirby because he couldn't pull into another lane. It was rush hour, so the traffic was hell, but this did give him time to eat his KFC. Eventually an elderly woman noticed Kirby indicating, and stopped to allow him onto the carriageway. He was now moving, slowly, but moving nevertheless.

Kirby had been in the car for a while now, it was getting dark and he was getting tired but at least the traffic had dispersed. "I wonder what time it is?" He thought "There's got to be a clock in here somewhere." He pushed a button on the radio, which had been off, and Classic FM came on. He screamed inside his head, and pushed another button. The volume went up, classical music was now blasting out of the car's speakers. He screamed louder inside, hit one last button and managed to change the radio station to Radio 1 and turn it down again. Then he noticed the clock on the dashboard. "Well that was a lot of effort for nothing." He sighed, it was 8pm, he decided he needed some sleep. He pulled off the motorway at the next exit, and parked in a rest point in between two trucks. He turned off the car and lay down to sleep.


End file.
